


Ouma is a Knife

by kxbouma



Series: Alcohol And Forgiveness [1]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Break Up, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, One Shot, Toxic Relationship, i swear it doesn't romanticize toxicity its abt overcoming it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-29
Updated: 2020-10-29
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:41:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27179404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kxbouma/pseuds/kxbouma
Summary: 17 is too young for Ouma to have an alcohol problem. 16 is too young for Kiibo to be forced to take care of Ouma's mental health. Ouma is in the lowest state he's ever been in. Kiibo is far to stressed trying to make this work anymore, and Ouma is too apathetic to even try.Kiibo cares for Ouma so much, but he knows he has to let him go.
Relationships: K1-B0/Oma Kokichi
Series: Alcohol And Forgiveness [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2038482
Comments: 2
Kudos: 28





	Ouma is a Knife

**Author's Note:**

> tcfoidjicfjdvtr okay so im feeling angsty and felt like writing something to hurt me

"My dad would kill me if he knew you were here."

Kiibo was tired. He was _so_ tired of everything with Ouma Kokichi. And yet, he could never cut him off. Ouma was a knife Kiibo couldn't pull out of his side, because they had known each other since they were so young. Kiibo was acutely aware, more aware than almost anybody else about the shitty hand Ouma was dealt by life. And that's why Kiibo always hung out with him throughout the years; after all, nobody else would. The first few years were definitely hardest for him to overcome. They met back in first grade, Ouma sitting by himself on a swing, looking down at his small, beat up shoes. 

Recollection was painful. Maybe that's why Ouma drank to forget. But Kiibo was also aware how influential he must have been in Ouma's life. If that's true, does that mean he's responsible for the way he turned out? 

His thoughts were interrupted by the slurred speech of Ouma, "Kiiboy, you know I love you, right?" His words were like a glass smoothie. Sharp, painful, and blended together.

Kiibo hated when Ouma told him he loved him. He knew he loved Ouma back, but Ouma used those words as a weapon. He knew Ouma well enough to know that he rarely expressed his feelings so openly. And hearing Ouma just flat out say he loves Kiibo made Kiibo stomach churn, and filled his body with anger.

"No you don't. If you did you wouldn't destroy your own body." 

Ouma disregarded the words with a laugh. Suddenly the burning red anger turned to a grey, misty, sadness. How could he take Kiibo's feelings and crumble them up? Kiibo wasn't a person, but he certainly felt like one. And Ouma learned to recognize him as one a long time ago. This was a simple robophobic joke, no, this was just a total disregard for his feeling. And suddenly a pit clawed it's way into his stomach and sat there, digging deeper and deeper as he questioned if he even knew the man before him. This wasn't the Ouma Kokichi he had fallen in love with all those years ago.

Kiibo stared at the dilapidated shell that Ouma had become. He really felt as though he didn't know this boy anymore. He gritted his teeth and began to shout, "God damnit, Kokichi!" He shouted, balling up his fists and waving his arms around, "What happened to you?!"

"Kiiboy...?"

"Y-you!" Kiibo tried to calm down but couldn't bring himself to. His body was burning with a rage to furious and vivid to be calmed. And he continued to shout, "I--I--I'm trying my hardest! I want to make this work, don't you?!"

"Kiibo..." Ouma let out another giggle, "You aren't actually angry, are you?"

Kiibo was sent aback. He looked down at his shoes and began to mutter. With a snarled face, he grumbled, "How could you...how _dare_ you imply that I'm joking...disgusting."

"Kiibo?" Ouma looked at Kiibo with a perplexed, almost sad expression, "W-what did I do...?"

Kiibo furrowed his eyebrows, trying to stay mad and refusing to let his magma cool, "Ouma, I...I...I love you, Ouma. And I'm not sure I'll ever find somebody like you."

And Kiibo's mind forced him to remember being a kid again. Aimlessly running through the playground with Ouma, him being 8 and Ouma 9. They'd run, playfully push each other, collapse, roll around, and have pointless fun. It was silliness for the sake of silliness. He remembered the one time Ouma took a considerably hard fall on the ground. Kibo immediately sprang up with concern.

"Kichi!" Kiibo shouted, running up to the boy, who was managing to get up from his stomach and sit on the ground. Kiibo kneeled down and looked up and down on his body, "Are you hurt?"

"I'm fine..." He grunted.

"Can I check just to make sure?"

"Kiiboy, I'm--"

"Kichi...please?"

Ouma looked down at the grass, "Fine, Kiiboy, but make it quick."

Kiibo smiled, first inspecting the arm he fell on, seeing no external injuries, he pressed down on it, "Does that hurt?"

Ouma shook his head. 

Kiibo then inspected the leg he fell on. He saw a decently large bruise on his leg, and pressed down.

"Ouch!" Ouma shouted, instinctively smacking Kiibo.

"Kichi!"

"S-sorry..."

Next, Kiibo slowly lifted up his shirt to inspect his torso. There was no bruise where he landed, but Kiibo couldn't help but notice a large bruise on the other side of his body, one that didn't seem to be caused from his fall. Kiibo let go of his shirt and locked his eyes on Ouma, "Where's that from, Ouma?"

"I..." Ouma refused to say any more.

"Ouma...? Did you fall some other--"

"Ow! My leg!" Ouma shouted.

"L-let's get you home." Kiibo helped Ouma up and let him sling an arm over his shoulder, as he helped the boy hobble back home.

He didn't know it at the time, but later on he learned where that bruise was from. 

That same Ouma was now laying on his couch, and Kiibo thought he'd probably have to help him hobble home again. It was different this time, though. Kiibo wasn't a kid anymore, because Ouma robbed him of his childhood. He was forced to be all grown up by time he was 16. If he wasn't a grown up, who would be the grown up who supports Ouma? He _had_ to, because he cared for Ouma. And in retrospect, Kiibo realized he should've ended things as soon as he got this mindset. That's when Ouma stopped being a friend and started being a parasite who sucked every bit of energy from him. He was always around, and Kiibo was always exhausted after hanging out with him for too long. He knew that's not how love should feel.

"We've been dating for a long time, and friends for even longer but...but this isn't working." Kiibo's voice lowered, he went from burning lava to cold, hardened, rock. He kneeled down near the couch and grabbed Ouma's hand, "K-kokichi, you need help. And I can't force you to get help but you have a prob--"

"I'm fine!" Ouma shouted, tearing his hand away. He looked back down at Kiibo, and just then noticed how sad and concerned he looked.

"Ouma...you need to see a therapist, you need to break this addiction but I'm tired. I'm so tired of playing nanny for you. Kokichi, I'm only 16 I have a whole future ahead of me and right now I'm reconsidering whether or not you have a place in it."

"Kiibo...you...you wouldn't leave me when I'm at my lowest, right?" Ouma's voice cracked, as though he was choking back tears.

"I don't want to say goodbye, Kokichi." Kiibo said, "But I have to focus on my own things right now. And so do you, Ouma. It's mentally draining to be burdened with this. That doesn't invalidate your problems but I'm just not in a place where I can help you. And I don't want something I do to inadvertently make your situation worse. I love you so much Ouma, but I can't keep doing this. It's too much for me to bear by myself."

"B-but, Kiibo...I need you."

Kiibo looked away from him, "You shouldn't need me, Kokichi. You should be able to support yourself." He gripped his hands into fists, "I don't want you to need me."

Ouma just looked confused. He looked absolutely lost, like Kiibo was speaking a different language. Kiibo shook his head, and pulled him off of the couch, and into a tight hug. It could've been the last hug he had with him, so he had to make it count. He pressed his forehead onto Ouma's. He had a thick aroma; the potent smell of alcohol. His face cringed, but he forced himself to bear it. It'd be the last thing he'd agreed to bear.

"Kokichi...please...you need help." Kiibo took his hand and traveled down from his arm and onto his hand, gripping it, "And...once you work on yourself, I promise I'll welcome you back with open arms. I'm...not asking for perfection. I just can't handle all the--"

Ouma cut off Kiibo with a kiss. Kiibo was initially confused, but gave into it, closing his eyes and accepting the kiss for what it was. It might be his last kiss from Ouma ever. It felt like they were connected for hours, but eventually Kiibo was the one who let go. He was the one letting everything go today. They stared at each other in silence, but Kiibo felt tears welling in his eyes, "Kichi...I'm gonna miss you."

"You haven't called me that in forever." Ouma let out a small giggle.

"I'll call an Uber to get-"

"Don't bother. I can get home myself." Ouma stood up, and began to walk towards the door, "Bye Kiiboy."

"Are you sure--"

"I am. But I promise, I will get better. And then...I'll come back. I don't know when, but I'll be back."

Kiibo simply nodded, looked down at his hands and thinking about what he had done. He had done almost everything with Ouma, and now he was out of his life. Maybe he would come back, maybe he wouldn't. He didn't know when, or if it would happen. But it was time that Kiibo started focusing on other thing. He didn't even look at the door as he heard it creak open, and click closed.

Kiibo looked at the door when Ouma was gone, and began to cry. It did really hurt to pull a knife like that out of his side.


End file.
